goodil

i seriously wonder if this vacation i'm taking is just another form of escape.
the die is cast. even if it is, i still gotta go for it.
last night was awesome. despite all the premonitions, bad dreams and how afraid i was, i went.
and the thing is, after a bit of initial insecurity, i really didn't give a fuck about all that anymore.
what i feared didn't happened, but i suppose since it took a lot out of me to be down there, i really didn't give a flying fuck!
:)
i have my own life to live. and my own things to do. as does everyone else.

i had a great time despite how crowded it was.
it seems i'm getting somewhere with the letting go yeah?

i've always mused about this. blessing or curse, blessing or curse.
Y, if he reads this, knows what i'm talking about.
i'll settle for bittersweet blessing. :)
what's the point in being so sad, angry and bitter about things all the time?
gets ya nowhere.
savour the sweet good memories and never forget the bitter lessons learnt.


lost a lot but gaining in so much more.
perhaps it's more like refinement.
you throw the ore into the fire, you'll hit the impurities out on the anvil.
leaving only the valuable metal.

heh. whatever. i'm rambling on my last last post before bali.
hell if local bar boy can have last last gigs, i can have last last posts.
just kidding.

maybe this bali trip would be like the calm before the monsoon storm.
the week before the monsoon arrives, the sea is usually so calm it's like a swimming pool.
the monsoon hasn't arrived yet. talked to a dive operator a few days back and he's still running trips to msia.
the calm before the great damn mother of all tempest comes.

we'll see.

on a trip to bali.

one dance left.