*blows dust off the account*

it's been seven years. things are different. wildly different. different in ways that blow your mind and different in ways that you wish didn't happen.

the social media medium is so scary that there is nothing you can really write to share with real friends, real people. not people whom you have clubbed with once or twice, not colleagues or people whom you interact with and you have to add them on facebook so that you are normal.

there is nowhere left to really pen my thoughts, my dreams, my hopes, my fears, my bad poems, my loves, my aches, my pains.

why do i want to share such things that define me, with people whom i have to grin at and pretend that it's all fine? they don't really care. this may sound really emo. but heck you can't blame them.

i am losing my id and ego. i have never really known myself well and now, with how i am conforming to what society expects of me, i do not know what is going to happen to these few tattered remaining shreds.

 so it's back to where i've started writing online.
back here. where life still had a nice hue to it. where dreams were alive. where i will hide and nurture what is me. i will write bad poetry again. i will write down new hopes, new fears and place them in writing with the old.

after all these years,

i'm still lost.